Quotes

Buffy: Slaying is a tad more perilous than dating.
Xander: Obviously, you're not dating Cordelia.

Xander: That's it. This has gotta stop. It's time for me to act like a man. And hide.

Drusilla: Your face is a poem. I can read it.
Xander: Really? It's doesn't say spare me, but any chance?
Drusilla: Shhhh. How do you feel about eternal life?
Xander: We couldn't just start with a coffee? A movie, maybe?

Xander: I have a plan. We use meas bait.
Buffy: You mean, make Angel come after you?
Xander: No, I mean chop me into little pieces and stick me on hooks fpr fish to nibble at, 'cause that would be more fun than my life.

Angelus: I know Dru gives you pity access, but you have to admit, it's so much easier when I do things for her.
Spike: You'd do well to worry less about Dru and more about that Slayer you've been tramping around with.
Angelus: Dear Buffy. I'm still trying to decide the best way to send my regards.
Spike: Why don't you rip her lungs out. That might make an impression.
Angelus: It lacks poetry.
Spike: It doesn't have to. What rhymes with lungs?

Willow: My boyfriend's in the band!

Cordelia: I'm not the one who embraced the black arts just to get girls to like me. Well, congratulations, it worked.
Xander: If would have worked fine! Except your hide's so thick not even magic canpenetrate it!
Cordelia: You mean, the spell was for me?

Cordelia: Dammit, Xander, what is going on? Who dies and made you Elvis?

Drusilla: If you so much as harmed on hair on this boy's precious head...
Angelus: You've got to be kidding. Him?
Drusilla: No, now. Just because I've finally found a real man...
Angelus: A real man? I guess I really did drive you crazy.

Giles: There's a disturbing trend. Around Valentine's Day, he's prone to rather brutal displays of... what we would think of affection, I suppose.
Buffy: Like what?
Giles: No... no need to go into detail.

Amy: Intent has to be pure with love spells.

Giles: People under the influence of love spells are deadly, Xander. They lose all capacity to reason.

Giles: Ah, here's another. Valentine's Day, yes, Angel nails a puppy to...
Buffy: Skip it.
Giles: But...
Buffy: I don't want to know. I don't have a puppy. We can skip it.

Xander: Ha! This time I am ready for you. No F for Xander today. No, this baby's my ticket to a D-minus.

Oz: I was on the phone all night, listening to Willow cry about you. I don't know exactly what happened, but I was left with the very strong urge to hit you.

Giles: I can't believe you'd be fool enough to do something like this.
Xander: Oh, no. I'm twice the fool it takes to do something like this.

Xander: Amy! Good to see you! You're a witch!
Amy: No I'm not! That was my mum, remember?
Xander:I'm thinking it runs in the family. I saw you working that mojo on Miss Beakman. Maybe I should tell someone about that.
Amy: That's not even... I never... that's so mean!
Xander: Blackmail is such an ugly word.
Amy: I didn't say blackmail.
Xander: Yeah, well, I'm about to blackmail you, so I thought I'd bring it up.

Cordelia: You know what you are, Harmony? You're a sheep. All you ever do is what everyone else does, so you can say you did it first. And here I am scrambling for your approval, when I'm way cooler than you are becuase I'm not a sheep! I do what I want. I wear what I want, and you know what? I'll date whoever I want to date... no matter how lame he is!

Buffy: Valentine's Day is just a gimmick to sell cards.
Amy: Bad breakup?
Buffy: Believe me when I say 'Uh huh'.