Quotes
Willow: Buffy! Hey did you get your S.A.T. scores?
Xander: By the look on your face, I'm guessing you and I are going to be manning the drive-through window, side-by-side.
Buffy: They're just test scores, right? What do they really mean anyway?
Willow: 1430?! Buffy you kicked ass! Okay, so academic achievement gets me a little excited.
Xander: Buffy, that's amazing.
Cordelia: Let me see that.
Oz: Yeah, with scores like that you can apply pretty much anywhere you want.
Willow: Buffy, this could like change your whole future.
Buffy: The thought had occured to me.
Xander: Then why the sourpuss?
Buffy: Well I don't know. I guess, my future. I never really thought about it. I wasn't even sure I was gonna have one.
Cordelia: Well I think this is great! Now you can leave, and never come back! (everyone looks at her) Well I mean that in a positive way. Get out of Sunnydale, that's a good thing. What kind of moron would ever wanna come back here?
Spike: This should be a kick.
Buffy: I violently dislike you.
Xander: So, what are our options?
Willow: Well, I figure either I refuse to do the spell and he kills us, or I do the spell, and he kills us.
Xander: Give me a third option.
Willow: He's so drunk he forgets about us and we starve to death. That's sort of the best one.
Spike: Oh, god.
Buffy: Now what?
Spike: We killed a homeless man on this bench. Me and Dru. Those were good times. You know, he begged for mercy, and that only made her bite harder.
Buffy: I guess you had to be there.
Spike: Oh, god.
Buffy: What's wrong? Not that I really care.
Spike: Oh, my head. I think I'm sobering up. It's horrible. Oh, god. I wish I were dead.
Buffy: Well, if you close your eyes and wish real hard.
Joyce: You get out of this house, or I will stake you myself.
Spike: You're a very bad man.
Angel: Joyce, you can't trust him. Invite me in. You touch her and I'll cut your head off.
Spike: Yeah? You and what army?
Buffy: That would be me.
Joyce: I spoke with Mr. Giles and he said...
Buffy: That Faith could be Miss Sunnydale in the Slayer Pageant. I know.
Cordelia: I think this is great. Now you can leave, and never come back! Well, I mean that in a positive way. Get out of Sunnydale. That's a good thing. What kind of moron would ever want to come back here?
Willow: This is a nightmare. This is... my world is spinning.
Xander: It's not that bad, Willow, really.
Willow: 740? Verbal?? I'm pathetic! Illiterate! I'm Cletus, the slack-jawed yokel.
Xander: That's right, and the fact that your 740 verbal closely resembles my combined scores in no way compromises your position as the village idiot.
Spike: The last time I looked in on you two, you were fighting to the death, now you're back making googly eyes at each other like nothing happened. Makes me want to heave.
Buffy: I don't know what you're talking about.
Spike: Oh, yeah, you're just friends.
Angel: That's right.
Spike: You're not friends, you'll never be friends. You'll be in love til it kills you both. You'll fight, and you'll shag and you'll hate each other til it makes you quiver, but you'll never be friends.
Spike: I gave her everything - beautiful jewels, beautiful dresses, with beautiful girls in them, but nothing made her happy. And she would flirt! I caught her on a park bench, making out with a chaos demon! Have you ever seen a chaos demon? They're all slime and antlers. They're disgusting. She only did it to hurt me. So I said, 'I'm not putting up with this any more.' And she said, 'Fine!' And I said, 'Yeah, I've got an unlife, you know!' And then she said... she said we could still be friends. God, I'm so unhappy!
Willow: There, there.
Spike: I'll just find Dru, tie her up, and torture her until she likes me again! (pauses) Love's a funny thing...
Spike: So I'm strolling through the park looking for a meal, I happen to walk by and she's making out with a Chaos Demon. And so I said, "you know, I don't have to put up with this." And she said, "fine." So I said, "fine, do whatever you like." I thought we were going to make up.
Joyce: Well, she sounds very unreasonable.
Spike: She is, she's out of her mind. That's what I miss most about her.
Joyce: Well Spike, sometimes even when two people seem right for each other their lives just take different paths. Like when Buffy's father and I...
Spike: No, this is different. Our love was eternal, literally. By the way, you got any more of those little marshmallows?
Buffy: I can fool Giles, and I can fool my friends, but I can't fool myself... Or Spike, for some reason.
Spike: She wouldn't even kill me. She just left. She didn't even care enough to cut off my head or light me on fire. I mean, is that too much to ask? Some little sign that she cared?
Buffy: She saw these scores and her head spun around and exploded.
Giles: I've been on the Hellmouth too long. That was metaphorical, yes?
Oz: I can see why you'd be upset. Oh, that was my sarcastic voice.
Xander: Y'know, it sounds a lot like your regular voice.
Oz: I've been told that.
Joyce: It's just... you belong at a good old-fashioned college, with keg parties and boys, not here with Hellmouths and vampires.
Buffy: Not really seeing the distinction.
Xander: If Spike is drunk, he'll get sloppy. That's when I'll make my move. As long as my move doesn't involve standing or using my limbs.