Xanderisms

'It's funny how the Earth never opens up and swallows you when you want it to.'
      - Teacher's pet

'I have my pride. Okay, I don't have a lot of my pride, but I have enough so that I can't do this!'
      - The Puppet Show

'I'm not worried. If there's something bad out there, we'll find, you'll slay, we'll party.'

Xander: 'You were looking at my neck!'
Angel: 'What?'
Xander: 'You were checking out my neck! I saw that.'
Angel: 'No I wasn't.'
Xander: 'Just keep your distance pal!'
Angel: 'I wasn't looking at your neck!'
Xander: 'I told you to eat before we left.'
      - Prophecy Girl

'Can I have you? Duh... Can I help you?'
      - Welcome to the Hellmouth

'I laugh in the face of danger. Then I hide until it goes away.'
      - The Witch

'For I am Xander, King of Cretins. May all lesser cretins bow before me.'
      - The Witch

'So now I'm just a figure of fun!'
      - The Witch

'Okay, into the battle I go. Would you ask her out for me? No. Man. Me battle.'
      - The Witch

Ampata: 'You are strange'
Xander: 'Girls always tell me that. Right before they run away.'
      - Inca Mummy Girl

'Dammit! You know what? I'm sick of this crap. I'm sick of being the guy whoeats insects and gets the funny syphillis. At this moment, it's over. I'm finished being everyone's butt monkey!'
      - Buffy vs. Dracula

'But I never help. I get in trouble and Buffy saves me.'
      - The Replacement